Lucky shopping (My Docs obsession)

Remember those shoes I posted before? Those platform doc Martens?
The expensive €180 ones?

Yes, those.

They were on sale and only my size was left.
For €60.

I was brave enough to ask if the student discount also applied to sale items.

Yes.

I got them.
For €54.
Instead of  €180.

So after almost 100 days I called my shopping ban to an end. Saving €126 on a pair of shoes that I was going to get anyway at some point in my life is a good excuse.
Breaking them in feels like walking trough hell though. Especially because of the platform.

Naturally, I already have a next big obsession.

 

These!

On the website I suddenly saw these beauties. Doc Martens with the "Hell" panel from The Garden of Earthly Delights (±1500, painted by Hieronymus Bosch) printed on them. 

A few years ago when I was writing a huge essay about surrealism I came across this painter. I went back into the history of art to search for surrealism in art. Before the 20th century it was very uncommon to portray things the eye could not see, so some consider these paintings the first surrealistic paintings.

 The Garden of Earthly Delights

I'm pretty surprised that of all of the paintings in the world they picked one of my favourites.
Next, please make Dalí or Magritte shoes. My holy trinity will be complete.

Pinterest.

When I woke up, I decided not to go outside today because I couldn't remember the last day I stayed inside all day long. I spent the whole day on my laptop.

A few days ago a friend introduced me to Pinterest. She swore that I would become addicted immediately. And she was right!

I created a board for personal style inspiration.
All that fancy stuff to pin... makes me a bit greedy.
I want to go on a killer goth shopping spree.

I have exams coming up, so instead of browsing it all day, I used it to get some studying done.  - How, you ask?
For every subject I summarized I allowed myself to look up and pin one pretty picture.
Worked out pretty well.

82 days.

It has been 82 days since I challenged myself not to buy clothes. 

The first few weeks were the hardest part. I went shopping with a friend. Twice. We went into a certain shop where I usually can't leave without buying a new bandshirt. The worst part was that they just received a bunch of new Sisters of Mercy shirts. However, I'm probably just going to buy one (ALL OF THEM) at the concert.

But after about two months I became more and more critical about every item I see while shopping with friends. I have always been picky about quality, but it feels like that has gotten worse. Somehow I start to notice all the loose threads on clothing, and I'm even more critical about fabrics. This might just be my inner shop-a-holic-defence-system that prevents me from buying anything.

But the weirdest part is that I'm starting to get grossed out by watching certain people shop for clothes. Most of them aren't picky at all, they just buy anything cheap. Of course this could possibly be because they have not much money to spend, but I doubt that if they are walking around with more bags then they can carry.

The good part is that I have started to explore my long-lost treasures in my closet. I'm a bit ashamed that I found pieces of clothing that I have never worn, for example two long chiffon skirts. A year ago I bought two skirts that are almost exactly the same because I love the aestethics of a flowy see-through skirt, but I never worn them because I can't find a top that looks good with them.

I'm very proud of myself that I got this far. I also saved a lot of money, that is the best part!

Tomorrow I'm going shopping with a friend. I hope I can hang tough.

Have you ever tried a similar challenge? x

Sisters Of Mercy!

I almost shat my bloomers when I saw that THE Sisters Of Mercy are going to play in my country! People who know me or have read my blog before know that they are definitaly one of my favourite bands. I have seen them before at a festival in 2011, but it was so crowded that we could not see anything (, except that Edward has lost his hair... I was a bit shocked since I only had seen the older pictures and videos back then... I said: "Who is that bald guy").

Everybody looking fancy in the 80's with their sunglasses on.

So I immediately bought tickets. Luckily the buy-no-new-clothes challenge has permitted to let me do so without making my wallet cry. Even my wallet was telling me to get those tickets.

I'm so happy!

2014 challenges.

Happy New Year! / Best wishes!

I never had any new years resolutions, and neither will I have this year. Instead, I have challenges. Because one can fail resolutions but one can never fail challenges. 

Fireworks~!

In 2013 I challenged myself to be more assertive and to be able stand up for myself. Due to a psychichal condition I have a state of mind in which others are far more important than me.Whenever someone needed my help, I'd do anything to help them, even if I had to sacrifice myself.

This year I made some tough decisions, even one which involved breaking a friendship, but I feel much better now. My mind is much more relaxed. Even though I probably let down a lot of people, I feel much less responsible for their misery.

One of my other challenges was to buy a skirt with strawberries on it, which I also achieved! :) However I still haven't found a top that looks good with it. 

An other challenge was to wear my brand new over-the-top New Rock shoes in public (meaning, not to a festival or other goth party). When I was a young babybat, I had no problems with wearing whatever I wanted, until someday I got beaten because of the way I looked.

Back in 2009, when I believed that bondage pants were the best-thing-ever.

However I achieved the challenge with some help of the gods. I was wearing them while travelling, planning to change them when I got to my student room. Firstly I missed the bus, then my train was delayed, and I was forced to go to college before I could dump my suitcases in my student room. Luckily, my friends said they liked them. It's funny how just some words can boost one's confidence.

2013, when I had already learned that less can be more, regarding to pants.

For 2014, I have many new challenges.

Things to do with my boyfriend

[ ] Buy no clothes.
I don't remember whose idea this was, but we have a challenge in which I am not allowed to buy new clothes (including shoes) (excluding jewelry) and he is not allowed to buy any new CDs DVDs or videogames. The winner will get a prize. 
[ ] Do a matched cosplay
We're thinking about Dante en Nero from Devil may Cry. Or Hansel and Gretel; the witch hunters.
[ ] Road trip of the gods.
Using a dice to determine the road we take. 1=North, 2=South, 3=East, 4=West, 5=I Choose, and 6=You Choose.

Literature

[ ] Read all (or at least a big part of) my unread books.
I have a lot of books that I haven't read yet. A lot.
[ ] Write (read: finish) a novel. 
 I once started a novel called "Old Books", fully based on dreams I had. It still haunts my hard drive somewhere. I already have inspiration for a sequel called "New Dreams".

Health

[ ] Try interesting food recipes.
I own lots of vegetarian cookbooks, but I usually end up cooking the usual mac and cheese or shoving a pizza in the oven.
[ ] Get my BMI back to 22
All those fancy christmas dinners made me gain some weight, but also being a student and moving to an other town has contributed to that. My BMI was 21,2 before I went to college. I used to cycle to school everyday (over 1 hour back and forth), but now I just have to travel 10 minutes. Right now my BMI is 24,3. I'm not unhappy with my body, but I have an increased risk of getting type two diabetus and I'm already starting to feel weak when I eat too much or too little.
[ ] Try Tai Chi.
I just got a Tai Chi DVD from my mother. Why not try it?

Music

[ ] Play trumpet
I have the most awesome black trumpet, which I used to play a lot. I even played in a brass band.
[ ] Play ukelele
Because it's a funny instrument and easy to play, I should buy an ukelele.

Spending money

[ ] Join the "Buy Nothing New Month" this October.
And this time for real.
[ ] Buy something expensive.
I'm thinking about getting a nice camera.

Depeche Mode

We had perfect view, plus the bonus that from our seats we also had backstage view.
I got a shirt and a poster. I'm a happy girl.

Buy nothing (new) month!

Just a thing I always try with my best friend.
We tried and we failed. As always.

Five reasons to like Cologne

1. Cologne Cathedral

The first thing you notice when you enter Cologne via the main station.. Built in 1248 and 157 metres high. A beautiful building.

2. This monkey in the Kölner Zoo

Just chillin' around.

3. Dirndl dresses in a mainstream store

I couldn't stop laughing. I did not expect to see this in a C&A store.

4. Music I actually like in mainstream music stores

Oh my, they have a compartment just for The Sisters? And there are actually CD's in it?

5. The Amphi Festival!

 

VNV Nation

Fields of the Nephilim

Welle:Erdball

The weather was really hot! About 34 degrees on saturday. Luckily the theatre was airconditioned, that's where Welle:Erdball performed. Well, 'performed', they showed a documentary about themselves and then played a song from the new not-yet-released album.

I also bought some nice things I will show later :)

Leaving for the Amphi festival.

University Museum Utrecht

In the name of science, or in the name of art; I just wanted to share these interesting artifacts from the University Museum in Utrecht. They have a huge collection of actual human remains. Somehow that draws my curiosity more than animal ones... Am I the only one?

Buy nothing month.

I will not buy anything, except food, for a whole month.

Update: 

Well, I bought 1 item. A pleather skater skirt. I couldn't resist the temptation when my best friend pushed me (it was only 10 euros, and fair quality... so).

Result:

I saved a lot of money, which I spend on something bigger.
I GOT DEPECHE MODE TICKETS!!!

Assertiveness training: What I've learned so far

The world is NOT a nice place
Some people WILL hate you
And you should NOT care

Speak up when you're being oppressed, or else they will keep using you. Standing up for other people makes you the top dog. Don't be the top dog. Don't be the underdog either. Maintain equality. No one is better than you. You are not better than them. Dress whatever way you want to. Normal does not exist. Every person has his own definition of what is normal. You can't fit in everywhere and you should not try to. Be yourself, don't waste your uniqueness. Sometimes you have to say no.

Assertiveness Training!

Tonight is the first meeting, I've heard this training is fun, and that the participants play role playing games (jay, acting!). However, I'm not quite sure wheter I'll actually benefit from it. I have the feeling that this training attracts people that are always insecure and never stand up for themselves. I'm only quiet when I'm around dominant-verbally-agressive-extravert people. I usually avoid them, but I had a class full of them. After a talk whith the students councellor (about 4 months ago...), he recommended me to do this training.

Also, I'm not insecure, but I rather stand up for other people than for myself, generally the ones that get bullied, which is why I got bullied at the beginning of this year, and that's why I have to take this training.

(Don't worry I met new, nicer people and some of the  d-v-a-e-people from my old class are now creepily nice to me. The other ones gained the reputation of b-i-t-c-h, which actually confirms that I might not need this training but were just surrounded by assholes.)

I hope to learn how to speak up to tose d-v-a-e-people, but I'll always prefer to be around other more introvert people, I don't think this training will ever change that.

Back to Black Rage & The Quest for a Winter Coat.

I've discovered that dressing in black mainly causes bad reactions to people who don't know you. For the people who know me, my sense of style is just an extension of my personality.

This year I started a new education. Because of my grades I was allowed to do it in 3 years instead of 4. I was going to be in a small class so I've been hiding my dark side to them so they couldn't prejudge me.
I quit dying my hair and even bought a bunch of 'normal' blue jeans.
The first week went okay but when I stood up for a girl who they decided to hate for no reason, they discovered that I 'wasn't one of them'. After a few more incidents (for instance me standing up for a stammering boy, they all laughed at him while he was presentating) they went berserk on me, which resulted with me having to take a training to be more assertive (think about myself instead of others) and boost my own confidence (which I kind of lost thanks to them).

Did I make a mistake? I may now look normal to strangers (it does feel good not being judged everytime I walk by), but I feel boring as hell. Usually everybody recognized me because of my bright hair or because of the odd subjects I like to talk about. Nobody would say I was insecure, because I wasn't. Now I'm just a random someone walking by. Some people don't even recognize me after I had a chat with them. So it's true. Clothes make the man female (to the shallow).

Also what the fuck happened to society that standing up for other people means you're mentally weak?

Obviously me dressing more normal didn't hide my personality.
I just want others to feel happy.
That's who I am.

Then I guess my style of clothing won't matter too. I'd love to get back to full-time goth style, which is not going to be hard because 90% of my closet is black anyways. Also because I've met more open-minded people outside of my class. (Seriously how is it possible I got all the closed-minded in my own)

Winter is coming and my old coat has had its best time, so I've been looking for a new one.
I have had a hard time looking for a gothic-style winter coat. Most are ankle-length which I think is not always convenient. Others are just ugly or too expensive.

After a long quest I bought this one. I love the corsetry on the back. And the subtle zippers in the front. The gothy-ness is subtle but it still looks awesome.

I just hope it's warm enough to survive winter.

I'm going to study Forensic Science!

Upside: Combat Boots. Every fucking day. My teacher highly recommends them. How awesome.

Downside: I'm not allowed to wear high heels in the laboratory :(

Downdowndownside: I won't see my boyfriend as much as I used to since I moved to another city :C

Thank you so much <3
(It's my birthday)

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore!

When studying for your exams gets boring

Stuff happens to your mind

Apologies to my dear (if there are more than one) follower(s).

I haven't been posting for a while. I have been too damn busy with school :(

Merry christmas bitches.

I have been disappointing myself. I didn't dye my hair blue yet...because gradma's coming over because it's christmas and I don't want her to die from a heart attack yet. (I still need money for a driver's licence, she promised me to pay it)

Anyways, my tonsils are going to be removed, finally! When? Wednesday.

#016

This necklace is very precious to me. I got it about 10 years ago and still wear it everyday. I almost never take it off. Not even when I'm sleeping.
The rare moments I'm not wearing it I tend to feel vulnerable.

#Pentacle necklace